Home Forums Class Discussions Session Discussions Let's discuss prioritizing

  • This topic has 1 reply, 12 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by GC.
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    • #347
      Jennifer
      Participant

      Some of us have no trouble setting priorities, others really struggle. If you are doing well in this area, share about it to encourage others.

    • #349
      GC
      Participant

      With the addition of our three younger children within 1 year (today they are 19 mo twins and 7mo) I have found it hard to prioritize. They need my attention almost all of the time, and I still have my other three children who need homeschooled and instructed as well. I never had a problem with this before, but now I have a hard time finding the balance between housecleaning, homeschooling, and simply caring for their needs and being with them. It’s not like the babies can help me clean yet! So something always has to be let go of, it just depends on the day for what that will be.
      So that’s where I’m losing it. I feel tired trying to take care of it all, although there are times when the days go smoother. I can’t make all my days the same, though. It’s more like “let’s see what this day brings!”. How did you prioritize when your children were mostly all little?

    • #350
      Jessica Perez
      Participant

      I mentioned the other day on the fb group page that I feel like we have a pretty good handle on running our household. I should clarify that that doesn’t necessarily mean that everything is always in its place and sparkling clean, all the time. Yes, we have a good routine that works for us and things can hum along pretty smoothly when there are no outstanding or special circumstances (which is just the way life works!). It also means that I have come to a place where “good enough” can really mean “good enough” as far as my expectations go. If the house is picked up enough to be presentable and comfortable, then I’ve learned that that is good enough because that is all our energy or time allows for, knowing that it isn’t because we were being lazy or idle, but because that was the best we could do at the time. There are toys strewn on the floor because we are all spending time together in the family room, and the babies are playing contentedly at our feet, while the little boys have their Lego figures on the couch and are engaged in their own play, dad and I are having a conversation with the teens/grown kids, and the middle girls are either reading or playing shopkins together. Yes, there are toys and books out being used. The dinner dishes are done and dishwasher running, the counters are clean and floor swept. Who cares if the casserole pan needs to soak instead of us spending one more half hour scrubbing it? It can soak in the sink so we can have time together. The kitchen is “clean enough” to not be disgusting, even if my sink isn’t completely empty and shined. The dryer buzzed, but I left it until the morning, when I have more energy and can fold before the kids wake up. As a homemaker, these are always things going through our minds, and we have the privilege of being able to make the decision about what is more important at the moment. We chose to work together to get the majority of the work done so that we could have some time together to decompress before bedtimes.
      To me, that is what my homemaking job is about. Yes, we can find joy and fulfillment in the work we do, and we should, but it is about the people we love and care for and serve. We tell the children, “let’s get the dinner clean up done so we can go hang out together.” Of course it’s not always perfect! We have days where there is resistance–someone just doesn’t feel like it, someone doesn’t want to finish their food and so we are all waiting, cranky babies, bad days at work, interruptions, overloaded outside activities (which need to be re-evaluated and reigned in periodically), etc.
      Anyway, I rambled and probably didn’t make any sense, lol!

    • #351
      Jennifer
      Participant

      Jessica: I love that! We need to let go of the idea that our homes need to look a showcase constantly. Babies and some toys on the floor hardly equates a messy home. Same with little boys and Lego men on the couch. That’s why we had the first assignment 🙂

      GC: You’re in a special season. A precious one 🙂 You said: “I feel tired trying to take care of it all..” Sweet friend… we can’t do it all, only what we’re called to. Figuring it all out is so much of what this course is about.

      “How did you prioritize when your children were mostly all little?” They pretty much were the priority when I had just young children. It’s all covered in the next 2 weeks here 🙂
      This video is to get you thinking about it, not doing something about it just yet though.

      • #352
        GC
        Participant

        That’s a relief. 🙂 I want them to be my priority, and they are. I’m looking forward to figuring it all out, together with my husband also! My ideal from assignment number 1 looks impossible at this time, so I’m curious to see how it turns out. Thank you for your encouraging words and this wonderful course, for answering my questions and helping me figure it all out! 🙂

      • #364
        EmilyM
        Participant

        Jessica, loved your post. As a mama of all littles I really enjoyed your perspective of finding the good enough and letting it really be good enough. Thank you!!

    • #353

      I use to be good at prioritizing when we had three kids , but the last four came so close and we moved so many times in just three years that I lost it somewhere. Thanks for the reminder that prioritizing is important, time to get back to it this year.

    • #354
      Valerie
      Participant

      It’s hard for me to prioritize because I get overwhelmed. I see everything being important so I don’t know where to start

      • #357
        Jennifer
        Participant

        Blessedmama: I went through that too. Everything was going good, then I became pregnant with baby #9. She has Down Syndrome and the pregnancy was very difficult, then with her being “special needs,” I spent weeks in the hospital with her the first year. It changed everything. Thankfully it’s better now 🙂

        Vphager: It can surely seem that way, that everything is important. Tomorrow and Friday’s assignments will further help you figure out/decide what truly is 🙂

      • #387
        mummyfox
        Participant

        I have a similar challenge with regards to prioritising. It all seems important. Tasks swim in my head or glare at me from my to do lists. I have tried to do brain dumps but i end up overwhelmed as there isn’t time to slot everything in. Is the key to do little steps in all the main areas or just to focus on a few areas and do them well? Sigh.

    • #355
      HannHess
      Participant

      Great video but ouch! Yes our time inventory shows where our time goes and unfortunatly mine does not go where it should. It goes out the window with nothing to show for it. You said in the video our husbands go to work and keep on task, we are left at home to manage our own time. My husband has said before in general conversation, if this were a job, would you be employed? Are you working through your day. Yes there are breaks and times we can sit down but if there is work to be done are we doing it or are we putting it off. It never gets better only worse seems like around here. This year I’m going to “work” my job better.

    • #356
      HannHess
      Participant

      I also love Jessica, your post. Yes good enough, everything done but the casserole that needs to soak. Kids playing on the floor yes there is a mess but they are currently playing, for me I know i can see where the mess they were just playing with was left and they moved on, then that creates a bigger mess that isn’t needed. I want our home lived in but not chaos.

    • #370
      Caira
      Participant

      Jessica – I love the idea of learning how to let it go a little – let it be good enough.

      When I went through this on the beta, I was settling in with a five month old (after a pregnancy filled with bed rest), homeschooling four (middle school to kindergarten), husband whose disability was the worst we’d seen in years (back/hip injury) and then the doctors said I had an issue. I had to “distress” and stop doing so much. ? I laughed and said how? But, after much discussion, my husband and I figured out our priorities were keeping people healthy (so house needed to be clean/germs needed to be handled), baby needed to be taken care of, and we needed to keep sane. We immediately cut to only schooling three days a week – but those three days we did it all. I hired someone to help deep clean the house once. And we kept stuff up after that. And we are still only schooling four days a week. And casseroles get to soak 🙂 and we take a night or two to play games as a family 🙂 and baby interrupts a lot – but that’s what babies and toddlers do 🙂

      I guess my long-winded point ?is that it is prioritizing. But sometimes, like Jessica said, it’s also changing our expectations. And, homeschool mamas, that can include school too 🙂

    • #371
      Amanda
      Participant

      Okay, I must be honest… I am a mama that struggles with laziness. I am exhauseted and drained right now most days with being 31 weeks pregnant and 5 little boys (aged 7, 5, 3, 2, 1). I tend to be an all or nothing type of person and if it’s not planned and written it mostly isn’t happening (not so good with a 7yr old homeschooling). Productive days are beautiful and then usually the day following is sitting watching movie after movie. Not good for ANYONE!!!

    • #376
      Jennifer
      Participant

      Amanda: Figuring out what is important to the LORD and you and your husband is so essential. If you decided that being wife and mom and just keeping up on basic housework was priority, would that make a difference? When I had just young children, our life was much more simple than it is today with all my older kids.
      Is thinking about priorities becoming helpful for you?

    • #382
      Amanda
      Participant

      I’m learning that with prioritizing I am having to specifically prioritize the “mom part”. That’s where I try to fit it all in and sometimes it’s all I can do to keep squabbles at bay, or a 2 yr old from coloring or climbing everywhere and the 1 yr old out of the dogs food and water.. ?

    • #390
      joyful_momma
      Participant

      I have a really hard time prioritizing and actually following through on it.
      I feel like I know what needs to be done but when my day begins I tend to be lazy or fall back into a bad routine, or am so easily distracted I really have a difficult time with enjoying blogs and Periscope and think that I learn from them, but my life is so overwhelmed that I do not put anything that I learn into practice. I find so many wonderful resources through blogs and Periscope that I do not want to cut back on this but I also do not want to be a mommy who is always on social media. I know that I probably should cut these out but I am not brave enough to, it is like I will miss out on some wonderful resource, however I feel such guilt from not being the kind of mom and homemaker that I want to be. Any truthful advice would be much appreciated, perhaps even encouragement with what to do in regards to blogs, social media, and texting. I am truthfully embarrassed to admit this but this is why I am taking this course to become a more focused homemaker.

      • #393
        Jennifer
        Participant

        Joyful_momma: Picture a young child. She is fighting hard to stay awake. You hold her, knowing she’s tired, and that she needs to let herself fall asleep, but she continues to fight it. It’s as if she’s afraid she’ll miss something.

        You softly brush her forehand and watch her heavy eyelids close. You smile as she finally drifts off to sleep, knowing this is what’s best for her right now.

        Do you see the connection?
        What is it that is important to you? Being an overwhelmed but learned mom and homemaker or being a content mom and homemaker with no guilt?

        You did say you know what needs to be done. 🙂

      • #422
        joyful_momma
        Participant

        Thank you for your response.
        I do know that I need to cut this out or pare it down to very minimal, I appreciate the encouragement to do so as well. I appreciate the analogy of a learned and overwhelmed mom vs a content and guilt free mom. I also think that by cutting the blogs/social media out that it will help me in many ways by giving me more time and not find things to spend money on as well.
        I have been thinking a lot about prioritizing and this will help me so much, knowing what to do first instead of spinning in a world of overwhelm.

      • #399
        Amanda
        Participant

        I had a problem “collecting” good things… But I wasn’t using so it became clutter and chaos and distraction. Keep it simple! More knowledge isn’t more wisdom. ? It’s a hard lesson learned.

      • #423
        joyful_momma
        Participant

        Thank you Amanda,
        That is exactly me, collecting good things but not putting anything into practice so it becomes clutter and overwhelm. It is nice to hear from others who have been there and can encourage me out of this hole (and it has been a hole this past year but I am determined to get out of it and to change!). Thank you!

    • #414
      Ashley Forrester
      Participant

      I knew before I started this course that I spent too much time on Facebook, but once I started the time chart I realized just how much time i was wasting on Facebook, I click on the app “just to see what’s new” and before I know it 30 minutes has passed and nothing has been done other than looking at Facebook! I don’t think Facebook is a priority in my life but by looking at my time chart you would think Facebook was one of my major priorities! I never put the idea of actions speak louder than words into my daily homemaking life, but I’m going to start, because it’s completely true!

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