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- This topic has 45 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 4 months ago by kmstenersen.
January 12, 2016 at 5:35 am #531
January 12, 2016 at 7:37 am #546
Do we need to plan any margin into our day? My children are 9,7,6 and when they need help or support with conflict resolution, it makes everything else take much longer. Has anyone tried making their focus list up to 22 hours to allow for unexpected interruptions? Or would it be better to make my time allocations on the generous side to allow for interruptions? I’m curious to find out how those in the beta group went in this regard. I worry that if I set up my day to more hours than I have then I will just end up feeling like a failure.
January 12, 2016 at 12:49 pm #550
Mummyfox: Yes, you will feel frustrated if you don’t allow for extra time with the children.
You can go ahead with the 22 hours, or add in the margin you need. Our, you can just create a separate topic, and call it something like: “tune fit children,” etc
I’ll ask the beta ladies to chime in.
January 12, 2016 at 3:23 pm #561
I have lotsa littler ones who need that intervention (8, 6, 4, 9months) and a 12yr old with severe anxiety. We homeschool. In other words, our days are interesting. 🙂 I’m also keen not to feel the failure of not hitting a planned mark, so to speak, exactly like you mentioned.
Here’s how I handled it:
I had a time allocation called “child training” and I marked it for every time we redirected, resolved conflict, did character/chore training. I averaged out my three day time allocation, added fifteen minutes and use that for my focus list. My focus list adds up to 24hrs. If I don’t use all of it, we do an activity together (game, cook, teach a skill). If I use all of it, it’s ok. If I over use it, then something else is deducted from (like when we go to an appointment or have an abnormal activity).
I will say, one of the things we have done which made a huge difference is we cut a lot of the escalation off at the pass now. If the kids are arguing and escalating, talking back, hitting/yelling/screaming/wailing, or just generally out of control; we send them to the staircase (a fairly dull place, nothing to do) until they have a “happy heart.” Pretty much that means able to control their bodies and emotions. Well, all except the baby 😉 They self regulate. They can come out when they feel ready and then we deal with whatever was going wrong (argument, won’t do chores, etc) in a calm manner. It’s not time out – it’s time to become less volatile and then handle the issue. This has cut my time dealing with conflicts or character issues. Does that make any sense?
January 12, 2016 at 8:45 am #547Mandy RossParticipant
I’m excited for this! This really sets your planner apart from others. Can’t wait to see what this can do for my day.
January 12, 2016 at 12:53 pm #551
Thanks Mandy 🙂
It can really work well especially on non typical days
January 12, 2016 at 10:55 am #548HannHessParticipant
Ok, so I think i understand, please clarify if i’m wrong. Here is my “example” that is in my head. My time inventory was no where near what should be for my day so I’m going with if my day is how it should or at least is better than was.
Do & Need to do-
Prepare meals-2 hr
Daily Cleaning-2 hr
Should be donig
Child Training-1 hr
Want to do-
I’m sure it will have more than that but that totals to 18 hr and 15 min. Then I know that daily I need to spend that muc htime on the top list at minimum, “should be doing” list is second and want to do is last if time allots. Is that right???? Or am I completely lost…. 🙂
January 12, 2016 at 12:55 pm #552
You got it! I’m sure there will be some other things that present themselves as you work through this
January 12, 2016 at 12:41 pm #549ChastaPooleParticipant
Hannah, that’s how I did mine.
January 12, 2016 at 1:14 pm #553HannHessParticipant
YAY! I’m not as far behind as I thought 😀
January 12, 2016 at 1:39 pm #554shanhazletonParticipant
Beta testers… and Jennifer 🙂
In real time, do you actually sit down to do allotted tasks for the allotted amount of time? So many of my things overlap – like I may only spend 5 minutes right now to switch over laundry (and when it’s done in 45 minutes, I’ll probably forget for 2 hours to go switch it again)… and after switching laundry I may start lunch prep, but have to pause that to tend to an argument or help a child understand a math problem (or most of the time, both)… Or during my get-ready time in the morning, or time that I’m tidying up the bedroom, or while I’m reading my devotion – I may have to tend to preschooler tantrum or kids being off-task… I’m trying to reconcile the need-tos / must-dos on paper with the “tyranny of the urgent” that actually happens all day long… maybe I need to train my children better?? 🙂
January 12, 2016 at 1:52 pm #555
This is totally different than what most of us are used to. It’s not a schedule, so you wouldn’t do laundry for an hour straight.
But, when the day comes to an end you may have spent up to an hour total throughout the day on laundry.
Who’s ready for the video chat?
January 12, 2016 at 1:58 pm #557shanhazletonParticipant
Yes, some kind of chat would be great.
January 12, 2016 at 3:31 pm #563
Nope, I definitely don’t just sit down and do it straight. Lol. That be easy ?
I try to think of it more as a ‘goal’. I am definitely not tracking every minute of every day, but it is almost as if I keep a running tally in my head of “okay, I’ve spent too much time on this” or “okay, I’m going to go do this now”. To me, it’s a way to make sure I don’t get sucked into two hours in on one project when I know I only need to be working on it thirty minutes. But, I try to be flexible too. The aside would be homeschool – I’ve allotted four hours of my full attention. After that, the kiddos get to follow me around or talk to me as I do things 🙂
Hopefully that makes sense?
January 12, 2016 at 1:56 pm #556
Hello, I like to have some little time for example 15 minutes of deep cleaning one area per day should I added this time for my whole cleaning for example cleaning 2 hours : includes every day cleaning and the deep cleaning?
January 12, 2016 at 2:03 pm #558
What video chat? How is that done? And when?
January 12, 2016 at 6:22 pm #566
I am wondering the same thing. Does it have anything to do with facebook? I’m not on FB.
January 12, 2016 at 11:57 pm #573
No Facebook. Completely separate. I am thinking Wednesday night? It would be recorded so you would have access to it if you couldn’t make it.
January 13, 2016 at 11:07 am #589
We have church on Wednesday evenings but I will look forward to watching the recording! 🙂
January 12, 2016 at 2:20 pm #559
I just needed to ask when you write cleaning two hours for example how did you know what kind of tasks you should do
If the daily focus just the pattern of our day and then we plan what we have to do in this frame of time?
January 12, 2016 at 2:46 pm #560
Sandra, that’s right. It’s kind of like a time budget. The time is there to guide you. But each day you might spend that allotment differently.
January 12, 2016 at 3:26 pm #562Emily RhodeParticipant
Hi ladies! I am one of Jennifer’s beta testers and I’m going to share with you my experience with doing the daily focus list. Now first thing you should know is that I have four children ages 5, 4, 2, and 7 months old. So I’m sure that many of you know by the ages of my children that I don’t have a lot of extra time in my day for pretty much anything! I’m also nursing and my youngest still wakes up every hour to two hours each night.
So when I started doing this list I quickly realized that there was no way that I was going to be able to fit in all the things that I hoped to get done all in one day. So what I decided to do was to put the things that had to be done everyday like dishes, laundry, nursing etc. on the list first. It quickly filled up! I then created a time slot called “daily focus” and on a separate piece of paper I wrote down all the things that I would work on in this time frame. Things that didn’t need to be done every single day so things like cleaning, baking, stuff on my to do list, errands, deep cleaning and organizing etc. At the start of my day I will decide what I’m going to get done in that time frame and if I don’t finish it then I will continue with it the next day. And I try and keep it simple and just pick one thing.
Another tip I can offer you is to look at this list as a guide for your day, not a set in stone schedule/list. It’s to help keep you focused on the things you hope to achieve each day. I try to find a balance between being focused and being flexible for the little things that happen in life. I hardly ever have a day where I actually do every single thing on my focus list. But I love having it because it reminds me of what I need to work on the next day. Getting yourself in the right mindset will make this go even better for you.
Hope this helps some of you! Happy homemaking ladies!
January 12, 2016 at 3:33 pm #564
I love the idea of having that daily slot too! Hmmmmm 🙂
January 12, 2016 at 6:17 pm #565
That was very helpful! Thanks fot sharing it. I will try the same here.
January 12, 2016 at 11:23 pm #571EmilyMParticipant
Very helpful, thank you! I like your idea of the daily focus time slot that varies each day…that solves the problem I was having of allocating time to those random projects that vary from day to day but need attention. Thank you!
January 12, 2016 at 6:33 pm #567Ashley ForresterParticipant
I finally got a chance to watch the video, I am SO excited to start working on this assignment, this is going to be much more effective than the hour by hour schedule I have been attempting to make work for my family! I am going to start working on it in the next few minutes but I do have a question, for parents with younger children (mine are 5 and 13 months) how much time do you include for correction/redirections? It seems like the days that I kept track of my time I didn’t have to do a lot of correction but my “normal” day so to speak involves more than that! :/
January 12, 2016 at 7:15 pm #568
Thank you thank you Caira and Emily!!
January 12, 2016 at 8:27 pm #569
My children are almost exactly the ages of your children (mine are 5,4, 2, and 10m).
Do you allow for any “extras” or do you just keep everything very simple?
Thinking about this assignment I have a lot to think out and really think I need to simplify and cut out things in my life to make room for the things that need to get done and should get done. I would be interested to know what a sample of your day looks like and ideas of what I just need to totally cut out for this season in my life.
January 12, 2016 at 11:20 pm #570EmilyMParticipant
I love this way of approaching our day! Reading through the forum has been super helpful to get a grasp on this assignment. Would love to see some sample lists from Jennifer and the beta ladies 🙂
January 12, 2016 at 11:43 pm #572
I love the idea of a time frame you know you have for example two hours per day to do your cleaning but you also know that you can do it in several slot in your day and those are flexible with what you have on your plate this day
January 13, 2016 at 12:02 am #574
I think you ladies are getting the idea of it. I will post mine in the morning.
Sandra, if you want to spend 2 hours cleaning each day, you can make 15 minutes of it a deep clean, like you said.
Again, it may not be 2 consecutive hours of cleaning, but would add up to about that much by the end of the day.
January 13, 2016 at 12:22 am #575
I got my Focus List worksheet filled out with 23.5 hours. I think that this will help keep me “On Task” and be more meaningful with my time. What are we suppose to put on the Daily Focus List? Is it for the “Should be doing” and “Would like to do” according to priorities?
January 13, 2016 at 7:17 am #581
The worksheet was just to get you thinking about what you need to/want to get done each day. The Daily Focus List is what you’d want to have to glance at each day. Kind of your master list of daily activities. I’m posting mine shortly…
January 13, 2016 at 7:19 am #584
January 13, 2016 at 11:04 am #588
Is going outside the children actually going outdoors or outside activities (like activities in town)? I am assuming it is the children going outside but I wanted to ask to clarify. Thanks!
This assignment has caused me to think a lot and has been so good for me to open my eyes to how I spend my time and making certain to spend my time on things that will bless my family and not wasteful things.
This course has been so good for me! Thank you!
January 13, 2016 at 2:20 pm #594
It’s going outside in the yard. (I’m prone to stay in the house) soo… it needed to be there for me 🙂
January 15, 2016 at 10:40 am #626kmstenersenParticipant
Hi Jennifer, I have a few clarification questions. I am still figuring out what exactly needs to fill my days and your Focus List has broadened my scope for what a day can hold and given me new ideas for how to spend my time intentionally.
1. Is your “Train/Discipline Children” time when you stop to instruct and speak with them if they are needing correction and is this something you are doing throughout the day and you estimated it amounts to about an hour of your day?
2. For “Bible with Children” do you do Bible reading and lessons for an hour each day all at one time or does it looks differently than that? My children are 4 and 2 and one on the way and I am desiring to create intentional, set aside time to be in the Word with them each day.
3. “Time with Husband”, is this your intentional time together in the evenings, kid-free?
4. What does “Time with girls” entail?
I am honestly wishing I could be a fly on the wall for a day of some older, wiser homemakers to help give me a better picture of how my days could look/give me fresh ideas. I am a first generation believer, homemaker and farmer’s wife and I am still finding my footing in a lot of ways.
January 13, 2016 at 10:15 am #585
Jennifer, your daily focus list looks very productive. I have realized with all of the assignments that we here spend a lot of time on one or two things and can’t seem to be able to fit in the rest.
Do you mind sharing how you do school in only 3 hrs? We seem to take all day with it.
And I’d like to go outside, but don’t want to take the little ones out in the cold. I need fresh air and sunshine… any suggestions?
I am excited to better manage my time, looking forward to tweaking my list and adjusting it and coming up with what will work!
I love your list, I love this course. Thanks so much!
January 13, 2016 at 11:12 am #590
Thank you for your kind, encouraging words 🙂
The 3 hours for school is my time with them. The older kids (high school) do more than 3 hours a day, but they don’t need me for all of it, so… the 3 hours just reflects the amount of time I’m at the table or on the couch actually “doing school” with them.
If your children are too young to take outside I’d suggest getting some fresh air before they get up in the morning or nap time maybe? You may only be able to get out on the front porch for a minute or two, depending on their ages.
January 13, 2016 at 11:43 am #591sarahertzbergerParticipant
For some reason this has gotten me stressed I feel like I’m leaving things out or not writing out enough time with my husband or not leaving too much time that’s just free and not planned so would it be kind of like this: Let’s say one day I’m doing school and it takes longer than the 3 hours I have planned for would that mean I just take time from somewhere that I could spare to lose some time from (like personal time to knit or sew etc.) or would I just move on and finish the next day?
I know it shouldn’t be that complicated to me but I’ve done a list like this before and for some reason it always gets to me haha. I’ll just say, I can’t wait for the video chat!!!
January 13, 2016 at 2:25 pm #595
I’m so sorry, it’s not supposed to. Don’t try to get it all figured out this week. 🙂
So, yes, if you plan 3 hours for school but it takes 3.5 because you need the extra 30 minutes, then so be it. It would come out of something else, like you suggested sewing etc. It’s a guideline, not a task master. It’s to help keep you focused, not to create stress.
If you find that school is taking you 3.5 hours everyday you may want to re-figure your list. But you’ll want to do that about twice a year anyway. If you just have that much work to get through then you’ll need that time, if you’re dealing with disobedience or laziness though, you may want to keep 3 hours for school, but 30 minutes for training 😉
January 13, 2016 at 2:32 pm #596AmyParticipant
My (sinful/selfish/lazy) heart is really resisting budgeting my time in this way. It reminds me of the process of budgeting money. For a long time, my husband and I never really had a working budget (for our money). The same thing in me that resisted budgeting, is resisting this. It’s as if I think that if I give every dollar (or in this case, hour) a job to do, then there won’t be any money/time left for what I really want to do!
About 6 months ago, we found budgeting software that works with our lifestyle and made the commitment to do it, and I see now the freedom in having a plan!! It doesn’t mean you must always stick to the plan, and it doesn’t mean that you can’t include some “fun stuff” in the plan itself–but this way I know that the priorities in the budget (or in my day) are covered.
This is great. I’m ready to stop saying “I need to do more ____ and less ____,” and actually make a plan to do it!
Thanks for the help in this process!
January 13, 2016 at 2:41 pm #600
Glad to help Amy!
Definitely do plan in some down time!! You’ll burn out by next week if you don’t 🙂
January 13, 2016 at 3:38 pm #602
Would you mind sharing what budget program works for your family? We are needing to have one for our family.
January 13, 2016 at 4:21 pm #603AmyParticipant
We found YNAB (You Need a Budget). I know there are other good ones. This one “clicked” for both me and my husband!
January 13, 2016 at 2:38 pm #598
Tonight’s video chat: Evening Daily Focus List
Time: Jan 13, 2016 9:00 PM Central Time
Friday’s video chat: Afternoon Daily Focus List
Time: Jan 15, 2016 3:00 PM Central Time
This is to discuss the focus list, and any questions you might have.
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