Child training

[EmmySimpson]

Hi! I have a 3,4, and just turned 6 year old. I am struggling with training, as I do well to be consistent for a few days, and then feel so overwhelmed by the messes they leave and the how I feel “ganged up on”. I have utterly failed in this area, but truthfully, I just wish I could see how others are doing it. I am also very overweight and am constantly exhausted, which doesn’t help. If that was not an issue, I think I would be doing much better with my outlook on all this. When I diet, I get weak, faint, and cranky. (Wont give up, don’t worry). I have been walking and jogging some, even did my first 5k a few weeks ago, but I am in a real bind. The weight is not coming off the way it did when I was younger. Anyway, that isn’t my question per se. I would love any advice on child training without draining yourself dry and not being able to keep up with everything else on our plate. P.s. We are a homeschooling family and I am also trying to keep my 3 and 4 year old occupied (would love for them to sit and learn but they seem uninterested), while I am teaching my kindergartener. Sorry for the long post. I am wore out, feeling like a failure, and ready to just fix this problem, some how, some way. (Jennifer, if you get bored later in the year (ha ha bored, that was a joke!), you should have a go at a child training course in the homemaking academy! I bet lots of ladies would be interested in that!). Thanks in advance for any pointers. I am really enjoying what I have done in the course so far, and love, love, love this planner! Can’t wait to start using it! Thanks, Emmy

[mummyfox]

Hi Emmy, have you tried Trim Healthy Mama eating plan? Its a lifestyle of eating that is healthy and energising and helps you lose weight without being hungry. I am a homeschooling mum too, also an ex teacher and I just wanted to encourage you to relax. You sound overwhelmed and my heart goes out to you. If your oldest has just turned 6, just relax. Reading books and talking together with perhaps a bit of maths games and letter formation is all you need right now. Your 3 and 4 year old do not need to be learning right now. When they are ready, they will learn quickly. If you focus on getting a basic routine going with a few requirements from the children, and build on that, then homeschooling will fit into your life. One of the things we have in our family is… A must be done before B. eg, there is no breakfast if they are not dressed with clothes away. No morning tea if their morning toys are messy etc. And so on. What exactly are you struggling with in regards to child training? I had a 3 and 4 year old when I was teaching my 6 year old, and we did short bursts when the others were busy, resting, or watching a dvd. As they all got older, I was able to implement more schooling routines but we did lots of reading books while they were eating snacks/lunches etc as formal lessons were hard back then. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and there is hope. Little changes can make a big difference.

[EmmySimpson]

Thanks Mummyfox! That was helpful! I have tried THM, and I liked it, but I need to adjust it to make it work for me I think. I was using a lot of nut flours which puffed me up, and the xylitol really seemed to make me crave more sweets. But I think it may be worth giving it another go. I have tried to go more of an exclusive whole foods approach, but inevitably I get behind because it requires so much prep, and then I find myself without a lot of options. (Husband has no desire to eat this way, so I have to cook twice, also.). I liked all you had to say about the homeschooling aspect! I very much love the Charlotte Mason sort of outlook, but ended up doing Abeka this year, needing some kind of example to follow. But I’m getting more confident now, and I think I will follow your advice and relax! We are struggling deeply right now with obedience, and I think that is the heart of the matter. I am doing this alone for the most part, with little back up from Dad. I feel like I’m just waking up to this problem, and now it seems so large, it seems impossible. Lord forgive me for my failure in this area! I am completely lost! I was raised with few boundaries, little work, and very spoiled. I know I don’t want that for my little ones! It has made my adult life a struggle, when I could have been doing so much more at this stage in my life, I am still learning the basics. Thanks for listening! :).

[mummyfox]

I have found that i need to do THM in a vege heavy way rather than with lots of nut flour stuff.. I make smoothies with handfuls of spinach every day. Dinner is usually just same as rest of family but with veges instead of carbs. Funny how we have to tweak things.
I completely relate to the last thing you said. I have struggled so much as an adult with homemaking and feel like i am learning the basics now. Still, no condemnation in Christ and his timing is perfect. So right now you are where you need to be and God can take you step by step in the right direction. I know I am trying to celebrate the small steps we are making rather than condemn myself because I am not where i thought I should be. So great that we have a nonjudgemental community here. 🙂

[Jennifer]

Emmy: Just a few thoughts: over the years I’ve tried to keep things simple. I don’t want to spend my life moving things around. To much stuff creates unnecessary work.

As for homeschooling a 6 year old, I typically only spend up to an hour a day in school work. And that hour is broken up.

Child training course? 🙂 I might think about it in about 15 years when my youngest is an adult 😉 We’re still in the process, soooo the verdict is still out 😉

[EmmySimpson]

Thanks! I love what you both said! I will try to just modify dinner to accommodate myself, and I totally agree with the too much stuff! I regularly say I feel like a professional stuff shuffler. Shuffling things here then there then here then there. I tend to like to purge things but hubby likes to keep it all. Right now I have been keeping the school room locked, and keeping the toys with many small pieces in there. But I think it must be time to retire some toys to the toy rotation box, because I think they have multiplied again since Christmas! I feel very encouraged by what you have said and will give it a hearty go today! Thanks again! Hope you have a good day!

[GC]

Hi Emmy, I have been going through a lot of adjusting here too. After the twins and the new baby, 19 mo twins and 7 mo, life has totally changed. I used to be on top of things, now I feel under them. I was healthy and fit, now I have lots to work on. It seems like I’ll never get there, but I know that’s not true. Anyway, what I was actually going to share is that I have been adding gates to places I never though needed. I too closed up the school room. I put up a gate to the bedrooms, and one to the laundry area and toy room and bathroom just past the kitchen. I have had to tweak and find the best spots to put them up. Of course some of my children could take them down if they wanted to but I have given them rules. While the babies nap, I put up the gate to the bedrooms and they know they can’t go that way. If they don’t obey, I have to deal with that, even if exhausted. Next time they’ll do it, really. If not, they’ll keep disobeying. I have found they need my consistency and for me to follow through with discipline.
While I am homeschooling, I actually don’t use the school room now. I love being in there and teaching, but for now the living room floor will have to do. I do school on this huge carpet remnant that we bought and had binded from the carpet store near by. This has also been a huge help. We took the coffee table out of the house, and added this carpet/rug and everyone can play and do school or read together in the same room, and I can keep an eye on everyone and not have to run around the house. I also bought those square baskets/containers that fit into shelves and we added the toys I wanted them to play with and when it’s the end of the day, or when it’s just too much stuff on the floor, we just put them back in to those and bookshelves. Of course my bookshelves are only filled at the top half, since little hands like to pull them down, the bottom now works for these baskets.
And, I bought a bunch of containers from Dollar Tree and gave the pink and whites to my daughters and green and blues to my sons and they keep now their own toys very neatly organized in these in their own rooms and toy room. I was going crazy with the mess until I did this. I didn’t think I wanted a bunch of plastic containers but I do!! It’s been so helpful. We don’t even have that much stuff, but it still gets overwhelming.
Another thing is, there is so much I need to do, like sorting through papers, and stuff to get rid of still. I have always done this but cannot do it now. I just put it all in a box, and started sorting through when I could. Some of it I will most likely only do next year, hopefully. But it’s out of sight and we can live more peacefully this way. I like the attic for this. My husband keeps it organized up there, and those boxes are filled with papers or items I need to go through and get rid of or keep. It’s not as much as it might sound, but it does add up when we just can’t seem to do anything to keep up with the house.
I am still figuring it all out, slowly but surely. These are just some of the things I have found that have helped tremendously, and I thought I’d share.

[HannHess]

One thing for toys, like GC said she uses bins. What I did was buy the plastic shoe boxes from walmart, they are about $1 each and I sorted by types of toys into each one. One was blocks, one was a block train, one cars, one barbie, random girl toys, trains etc. I did that and if the toys didn’t go into that category or warrant its own, I put them in a big tub and took them down to where we have some things stored, I need to just get rid of it because they haven’t asked for it and nothing is missed. On the child training, I’m still learning too! I have a 5,4,2, and 3 month old so I’m right in the middle, we are starting schoool and they enjoy it but we only do an hour or so a day and then we move on. Right now we are still “on break” so I’m not rushing to much into it. They are enjoying playing but not having a scheduled day isn’t helping anyone especially me so next week we are going to jump back into the schedule and hopefully the week after school, if not i’m not going to stress it.

[EmmySimpson]

Thanks GC and HannHess! Those are great ideas and encouragement! Today, I decided that the kitchen has to be dealt with above all else. When it is out of sorts, and meals are out of sorts, life is out of sorts. So now that it is spotless, I am trying to plan some freezer crockpot meals, and have all those things planned, and I really think that will help with the beginnings of peace in our home. When mom is stressed over what to make, and didn’t prepare for it (which is me all the time), it is near impossible to have any semblance of peace. Anyone have any favorite go to recipes for the freezer?? So glad to have some ladies to chat with about all these things! Looking forward to the next lesson! Loving it! Thanks, Emmy

[EmilyM]

Hi Emmy! What wonderful encouragement you’ve received from this forum. I loved reading all the responses. This summer I discovered no cook freezer meals…totally a life changer. You dump all the ingredients in a ziploc bag and freeze. Then thaw the night before you want to eat the meal, dump in a crockpot that morning and voila you’re all set. I easily prepped 25 freezer meals to have ready after my fifth baby was born in September. Yay! I got all of my meals from this website http://newleafwellness.biz/2015/08/17/31-freezer-prep-sessions-that-will-change-your-life/ I have found many other resources on Pinterest as well. I can totally understand what you’re saying about being exhausted with the tediousness of child training. Having little things in place (like a meal plan and stocked freezer) has been such a life saver for me. One less thiing to think about after a full day! 🙂

[EmmySimpson]

Thank EmilyM! You may have posted it in another section about the meals the other day. Not sure if that was you, or if maybe I saw it somewhere else yesterday, but I did that very thing! I bought a few cookbooks from that website, and today I have already assembled 6 freezer crockpot meals! I am hoping they taste good! Have you tried many? And did you like them? I think you are right on the money about making and freezing ahead! Maybe I’m finally digging myself out of this black hole! Thanks so much for sharing! 🙂

[EmilyM]

Yay! I’m glad it helped! We’ve tried a handful of them and some were great, some were ok. I like her idea of doubling for two meals but I think from now on I’ll make one when I’m first trying out the meal. One of my kids’ favorite is her cheesy tater tot chicken. 🙂

[Jennifer]

This is wonderful ladies!!

I always put notes in my cookbooks next to recipes we try so I don’t forget whether we liked them, didn’t care for them or something needed to be altered.

[Staci]

I’m about 5 years late to this, but this thread really helped me with some ideas! I love that suggestion of putting notes next to recipes you have tried too.

[Author]

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